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Yeah. Need therapy. - Diary of a Necromancer
Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense, you're just not keeping up
Yeah. Need therapy.
Warm enough again to walk the 4.5 miles home from Wednesday Knitting Group. The brain-weasels do benefit from the exercise, and from being physically unable to drunk-dial half the internet while I'm in transit. Although they did have an ambush in store for me, in the form of the stop-dead-in-the-street insight that "...OMG that relationship back in mumblemumble is totally the dynamic that you're writing there, EVERYONE WILL SEE THIS AND YOU MUST NOW HIDE YOURSELF AWAY FROM POLITE SOCIETY FOREVER AND EVER AMEN."

I managed to distract the weasels by countering with insight #2, which was that if there's anyone out there who hasn't had that same relationship I'd be very surprised, and the fact that I tend to explore it from what might be considered the other side may well be a pathetic attempt to resolve my own Massive Issues but it's also part and parcel of writing what you bloody know, so it's probably better personally and professionally to try to take that step of looking at the situation from all the angles, especially the ones that are the stretch.

A few blocks later, moreover, I had insight #3, which was that to a certain extent insight #1 is a red herring; the recurring dynamic in my life is recurring because it goes back to having an emotionally unavailable parent, which sets me up for falling into all sorts of patterns of seeking yet fearing attention. This is probably what I'm trying to work through and understand through my writing -- both within the work and on the meta-level of what to do with the work. (And also reinforces that vague sense that I've got it just together enough to be aware of what a bad, bad idea it would be to try to date.) Now, if I could just convince the weasels that it's stupid to be so reserved that it takes me forever even to get to the point where people complain that I'm keeping them at arm's length, I might actually be getting somewhere...

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feeling: insightful

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orpheus42 From: orpheus42 Date: February 4th, 2010 08:51 pm (UTC) (permalink this entry)
Before the whole fire burning down and destroying all my notes thing happened, I had probably a good album-worth of songs I was deathly afraid to ever release to the public for precisely the same reason as insight #1, even though I have a strong suspicion that it's bullshit for reasons related to insight #2.
ljgeoff From: ljgeoff Date: February 4th, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC) (permalink this entry)
Everybody writes their issues. It's a given. Have you ever read Heinlein? Now, that man had some issues...
robling_t From: robling_t Date: February 6th, 2010 03:58 pm (UTC) (permalink this entry)
It was the part where I went, "...oh, crap, but then why am I writing Owen?" that confused me at first, before I worked out that that relationship wasn't the one Muse was trying to "fix"...
sylvia101 From: sylvia101 Date: February 4th, 2010 10:23 pm (UTC) (permalink this entry)
Hey! I just looked back through your LJ, but could not find the fic you did of Torchwood catching Superman. I loved it, and it has stuck with me. I would love to share it with my husband, if you don't mind. How would you feel about posting a link or emailing it to me? sylvia101 at g mail dot com? Thank you!
robling_t From: robling_t Date: February 6th, 2010 03:57 pm (UTC) (permalink this entry)
Oh, that was Sam Storyteller's work, not the Sam behind this LJ identity...
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